Resolve to Communicate More Effectively

The holiday season is over. Did it pan out as you hoped, or were there communication glitches? Do you want to resolve to communicate more effectively so you can avoid misunderstandings in future?

Resolutions aside, from what I hear, almost all of us could use some tweaking here and there in how we process our thoughts, in how we communicate with others, and in our choice of actions. Maybe even your choices of not taking action where you’d like to have done, is something to think about.

January 1st ushers in 365 days; or 52 weeks, or 12 months, depending on how you like to measure out a year. However you measure it, a new year offers you the opportunity to reflect on where you’ve been and what you’ve accomplished – or not – and how you’d like to conduct, and present, yourself in the future.

It’s really easy to put off things like personal growth, because, well, there are so many other pressing issues and responsibilities that take up your time, right?

The problem is that the longer you put off doing what deep down you know you need to do, the more overwhelming your challenges become. It can actually cause illness and make daily living difficult.

Unsatisfactory or strained relationships, whether personal, at work or in the community, can often be the result of not having your own expectations met.  When you rely on others to meet your expectations, there will always be frustration, possibly even anger, or withdrawal from the connection. That can lead to negative self-talk wherein you chastise yourself for trusting again and being shut down, or wasting time considering all the things you’d like to say to the other person.

Effective communication is a learned skill-set. Sure, we may all speak the same language, however, are your choice of words most accurately delivering your true message?

Learning to shift negative self-talk into loving and supportive self-talk is an important first step in learning how to communicate effectively with others. It is also a critical step in learning how to meet your own needs and save yourself a lot of anxiety and frustration in dealing with others.

Learning how to do these things successfully means engaging with another in order to create awareness that leads to permanent change or adjustments. Professional certified coaching is a process that works well. Why? Because when you engage with a coach, you yourself are the expert in the relationship. Your coach, along with their intensive training, is actually your guide.  Together you successfully attain your goals.

It has been said that each of us already knows deep within the answers to our own questions and needs. A trained coach can reflect back what is most important to you, and help you make the changes you want.

Always, now is the best time to tackle how you want to be different next time, next holiday …forever.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.”  N. R. Narayana Murthy

Note: The December 28, 2017 blog on “Joy” is available at

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