Here’s a question for you to contemplate: who is your best friend; your trusted confidant?
On social media and in popular magazines the term ‘BFF’ comes up frequently. And, the phrase “This is my new best friend” can often be heard.
Are friend and confidant the same thing?
Sometimes they are. Sometimes they are not. They could be a ‘frenemy’. Consider what William Blake (English Poet 1757-1827) once said: “When a sinister person means to be your enemy, they always start by trying to become you friend.”
It’s a rarity indeed, to meet someone new and form such a genuine connection that it lasts forever. Not every new friend is someone who will stick by you for the long term. Not every new friend has your best interest at heart.
It takes time to nurture a friendship, and indeed, a true and nurturing friendship is tested by time.
Stable and time tested friendships are the ones that you can grow to trust and eventually call confidants.
Many years ago I was given a small book by a long time friend. It’s titled “A Thousand Paths to Friendship” by David Baird. On the back cover it reads, “A fresh look at traditional wisdom, this indispensible book provides 1000 wise, witty, and inspiring thoughts on friendship. The perfect companion for enlightenment in the 21st century.”
Some of the quotes are recent – like a new friend. Many of the quotes were written by people from long ago, yet the words ring just as true today – in the 21st century.
So it is with a long-standing friendship. It withstands the test of time, and you learn that you can trust each other. These friendships are the most valuable and the individuals hold each other in high regard. They have enjoyed many life experiences together, engage in difficult conversations, and likely supported each other through sorrows as well.
They become our trusted confidants, and we know that the ‘secrets of our heart’ are secure in their hands.
Be wary of entrusting the ‘secrets of your heart’ to someone new that you do not yet know very well. Allow the new person to gradually reveal all the many facets of their personality, over a period of time. How long that takes depends on many things. It will differ for each evolving friendship.
Give your friendships time.
Keep your heart, and its secrets, safe until you are certain your new friend can truly be trusted.
A trusted confidant, a true friend, is more valuable than gold.
Here’s a quote to leave you with: “Friends must realize that friendship is as much about obligations as it is about privileges.”
May you be blessed with safe and enduring friendships!